GOODBYE BAD TIMES – THE ONLY WAY IS UP!

I know we’re coming into the month of April but for many, the first few months of the year may not have been what was expected.

Perhaps you have not managed to stick to your New Year resolutions (maybe because they were unrealistic). Perhaps you have had feeling of ‘can’t be bothered’. Do you feel as if you’re a failure and have hit rock bottom?

Well the good news is that from the position of ‘rock bottom’ the only way is up!

You’re not alone in experiencing feelings of frustration, apathy and failure. Everyone has felt this at some point in their life where they’ve ‘hit a brick wall’. Well, I’m here to help you break that wall down, jump over that wall and push forward.

The one thing to remember is that every individual’s lowest point is different. Each individual’s story of success and failure is unique. We all face different challenges and ‘demons’; even those who seem to have a smile on their face all the time – they too have challenges and at some point ‘hit rock bottom’ but these individuals realise that they have hit the lowest point and that the only way is up by having a positive outlook on the way forward. I know what I’m talking about as those of you who have read my books and articles and listened to me speak understand that my greatest challenge came when I lost my son to suicide. You can read about my experience and that of others who have lost a loved one in my book The Weight of Emptiness or on Amazon.

Just as everyone’s lowest point is different, so are the reasons why each individual may feel they’ve reached their lowest point. Reasons can vary from failure in personal life, loss of job, loss of home, loss of a loved one and even addiction(s).

When we hit challenges in life you can feel afraid, hopeless and in a dark place. You can find it difficult to think and cope.

Hopefully by reading this you will not feel so alone. I don’t want to dwell on the reasons for feeling low but it helps if you identify why you feel this way. Use your journal. Was the reason mentioned above – have you failed in your relationship, lost your job, your home, in financial difficulties?

Any of these reasons impact negatively on your life but when you know the reasons you can do something about it. Remember you can’t change anyone else, only YOU.

If things are so bad please seek professional help of course but as we all know, there are delays in getting appointments to see professionals such as doctors, counsellors and others who may help but do keep trying.

Meanwhile here are some things you can do to bounce back – I know some (or even all) of these things can be difficult to do but it’s never too late to start).

My 7 tips on how to climb back up:

1. Believe in yourself – keep moving forward, see challenges as opportunities and don’t be discouraged by others who put you down
2. Take control – yes it’s ok to feel sad and lost and it is good to acknowledge your emotions and let them out. Sit alone and just cry or shout out loud. After doing this, stand up, shake yourself down. Face the pain and take control of your life.
3. Be kind and compassionate to yourself – don’t be hard on yourself. Remember the best person, in fact, the only person, who can treat you well is yourself.
4. Be responsible for yourself – find ways to make life better. Don’t blame others. When you accept responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others you will find peace.
5. Be around positive people and connect with people who make you feel comfortable. The last thing you need is someone bringing you down.
6. Take a walk in nature – nature puts a new perspective on everything.
7. Develop a plan, a realistic plan. Don’t let what has happened in the past hold you back. Remind yourself that the ‘only way is up’. But, don’t just make a plan – TAKE ACTION

‘A journey of a thousand miles starts with one small step’

Now I know what helped and helps me and that’s why I developed my ABC techniques. These are easy to use but the hard thing is to use them regularly to make them your good habit.

So what does my ABC stand for?

A – is for affirmation – a positive, personal statement using the present or past tense verb.

B – is for effective breathing from the diaphragm – breathe in through the nose to the count of 3, hold for the count of 3 and exhale slowly through your mouth to the count of 3.

C – is for creative imagination. When you use your creative imagination it builds resilience and with courage you can face anything.

So for today and everyday this can be your ABC –  take a deep breath in (B), say your (A) affirmation ‘I am ready to face whatever the day holds’ and using your (C) creative imagination, imagine yourself in a place where you feel safe. Why not listen to my YouTube videos where I voiced different MindBites mindfulness meditations for varying situations

Ask yourself this question: Are you willing to pick yourself up?

The way up of course will not be easy, life is tough and challenging but you can do it.

I love my saying SMILE AND LAUGH, they cost you nothing.

Virtual hugs to you all.

Patricia x