My birthday thoughts!
As I recently celebrated another birthday (I consider myself still 30 years old) I decided to take this event as a gift for a fresh start. I used an affirmation (the ‘A’ of my ABC) and told myself ‘This is a new chapter in my life’.
This year in May is the 10-year anniversary of the traumatic loss of my son Bruce to suicide. I know it’s not May yet but I was reading a book which was written in memory of the author’s mother who had suffered from mental illness. This author wrote words To his mother (and I have adapted the words) I’m sorry I didn’t figure out how to save you from the ravages of mental illness…. or ….a way to help you….’.
I have often thought ‘Why didn’t I find a way to help’. I think everyone who has lost someone may or will feel the same (at some point). One of the stages of grieving is called bargaining and this is when you have thoughts of ‘what if’. Now if you have read my book The Weight of Emptiness: Comfort and Hope for the Loss of a Loved One about my experience of my loss then you will know that I know and have experienced the stages of grief but not always in order and often at different times of the day, even moment. I also include coping techniques and again I listened recently to an interview with Ben Fogle where he opens up honestly about his life and how he was a shy, unconfident child, never excelling at school at exams or sports. Many can empathise with this, particularly, if like him, you are a non-conformist. What struck me most was his advice that you should never let anyone define you – don’t let anyone put you down, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do this or that. Own your own beliefs and values because these underpin your identity and shape your behaviours and decisions. However, many do not fully understand their values and beliefs and this is due to past conditioning. It is not easy to take control of your own life but you can do this through becoming self-aware and that is why I wrote my Wellbeing Book Self-Awareness. If you have read my other books, one titled Resilience and Courage: The Key to Endurance you will find out that I counted myself fortunate to have a ‘bloody-minded’ gene! Having often been told that – this stubborn streak stood me in good stead when I faced challenges.
Whether or not you have celebrated your birthday I ask you today to leave behind the pain of the past and embrace what lies ahead with an open heart and mind. Leaving behind does not mean I forget my gorgeous son, Bruce, but I know he would want me to embrace life ahead in this way as I know he is in my heart and soul forever.
I ask you all to start now – decide that today is a gift for a fresh start.
Use my ABC psychological proven techniques and you will succeed in changing your mindset.
Virtual hugs to all (my books are all available in my store on my website)
Patricia
