How to change your life for the better

The time for reflection and letting go is in times of uncertainty and chaos because change is preceded by chaos.

I’ve written and spoken about this often and you can look back and read/listen to my blogs and podcasts – accessible through my website.

The time is now because it is the time of a full moon and whether you believe it or not the time of a Full Moon has the potential to be very healing because it is a time for reflection and letting go.

Of course, it’s not an easy time as it can raise difficult emotions and old wounds rise to the surface but as in any such times it is also an opportunity to transform your life.

I can hear your inner voice saying that’s all very well but how do I do that?

You need to change your mindset and believe that it is totally possible to learn to change your life and live your dreams. Take a moment to look around you, read about and think of someone who has grown up in a similar place or situation to you in the world yet they have managed to change their life.

Although I am telling you it’s possible let me also tell you that it’s not easy because you have to change your perspective, perhaps even your career and maybe location. I’ve changed careers many times sometimes this has been thrust upon me but at other times I have chosen to do something that I love doing even if it means fewer material things (which is often).

What surprised me (well not really) was that when I had less money and fewer material things than other people, those people were jealous of me yet they could probably buy me three times or more. I asked some why they felt this and the answer was they wanted what I had – and that was an inner happiness.

If you decide that to change your life you will move to another place, even another country but you must always remember that no matter where you go, you take yourself with you. So to truly change your life you need to change yourself.

Here are some tips to use or not, the choice is yours.

The first step is to decide to change your life. This might sound obvious but it is the most difficult step. Why? Because of fear – most (if not all) people are afraid of change and fear holds them back. Why not listen to my podcast on this topic? Making a life change is scary, sometimes such change is outside of your control and in such situations, there will be two different types of people. One type will be negative, asking questions such as why me? They become a victim of their circumstances. The other types are positive – they will make the best of their situation. The latter type are individuals who face their fears, learn from difficult situations and make the most of their circumstances, they do not see themselves as victims or even survivors – they are endurers – they endure life in a positive way. Be that type of person.

You can make the tough decision to change your life by using the ‘A’ of my ABC – use words such as I make the tough decision to change my life for the better. I am willing to do or give up ??? (add your own word(s) here) to make it happen.

The second step is to embrace your fears, anxieties, and discomfort. This means moving out of your comfort zone. You need to be committed, and be open to new experiences and opportunities. Change your old habits – go for something new. It can be something as simple as taking a different route home, or reading a new book or listening to a new genre of music. Embrace change.

This is the start of changing your mindset.

The third step is to identify why you want to change your life. Make a list of things in your life you don’t like. If you don’t like things about yourself, you can change them. Now I know you can’t other people but when you make changes it can spark fears in those around you – they have been used to the ‘old’ you and are afraid of this ‘new’ you. Don’t let them hold you back. You may find (and it is often the case) that those who are most afraid are those closest to you. Now I’m not suggesting that you split up from your partner but if they are afraid of change or don’t like the new you then talk with them, be open. Of course, you might not be able to persuade them but that’s their problem, not yours. And as I’ve said in my many live videos you can remove yourself from negative people and if this is your partner, then don’t let their negativity impact your life – take yourself off to a quiet place where you can reinforce your positive thoughts. Of course, when they see your life-changing for the better they might want to do the same.

Don’t get sucked into the negativity. This applies to you too – if you find negativity creeping into your thoughts – write them down – use your journal or diary – again I’ve talked at length about this in my live videos – why not go back and listen to some of these topics

Writing is therapeutic too – so write these negative thoughts down and then move on.

The fourth step is the ‘HOW’ and this is about being creative – use my ABC for this step. We can all be creative but sometimes you might think you’re not creative as you think this means to paint, to write poetry and you can’t do these things. But creativity does not mean this. Creativity is all around you. Creativity is about using all or any of your senses, touch, sound, smell, sight, and taste. If you find it difficult, take a walk in nature – nature puts a new perspective on everything. Listen and watch my Pats Pup Park Pootles – my way of being inspired and uplifted and hope that by sharing they inspire and uplift you too.

Make a list (a realistic list) of how you want to make changes – they can be as simple as speaking to someone new, taking up a new hobby, or as big as going travelling, or changing careers but more importantly it can and should involve increasing your confidence and self-esteem and letting go of the past. You can use my Wellness series accessible on my website. Something I needed (and still need) is to stop procrastinating! However, I wrote a blog quite a while ago now on Positive Procrastination! In short, when I don’t get things done immediately it lets me be open to other things – but make no mistake I always meet a deadline!

The fifth step relates to the voice in your head. Let go of the negative voice in your head telling you that your ideas are silly, or unrealistic or will never work. Turn that negative voice in your head to a positive one – remind yourself by using my ABC that you are not afraid of change. You embrace change. Don’t let go of your dreams. You are allowed to dream big.

The sixth step is to identify what holds you back. What is stopping you from changing your life for the better. Often it is your inner self that is holding you back – your old habits, your negative thoughts and of course other people telling you that it won’t work, it’s not you and so on. Be aware of all the things that hold you back but don’t dwell on them. Use your journal or diary, write them down and move on.

The sixth step is to take small steps. Remember the journey of a thousand miles starts with one small step. So focus on one significant change – I recommend that the first small step is to make my ABC your good habit, by doing this you are changing your mindset and never forget r how powerful the mind is.

In addition to having a journal or diary I recommend having an achievement board and an inspiration board – or sticky notes – the achievement board reminds you of what you have achieved and the inspiration board helps you to remain motivated.

Another good habit is to include in your journal or diary a gratitude list. Just like my ABC these good habits improve your emotional, psychological, mental and overall wellbeing. You can even improve your sleep, reduce stress, anxiety and even physical pain.

The seventh step is to make plans by setting what is often called a SMART goal. Like me you may have set goals before or made lists and often these are not realistic or the list is too long. That’s why it is good to set a SMART goal. This stands for:

S is for specific which means defining clearly what your goal is

M is for measurable which means setting a time when you have achieved your goal

A is for achievable which means making your goal realistic within the time you have set to complete it

R is for relevant which is important as the goal has to be relevant to what you want most to change in your life

T is for time-bound which means setting a deadline. When you do this it motivates you to achieve your goal.

Setting a SMART goal can be used in any situation, not just to change your life for the better.

Above all remember you will face challenges along the way but with your new mindset you will be able not just to face such challenges but overcome them. You can do this as long as you learn from the challenges along the way. If you don’t learn then another challenge often bigger than the last will come along – I have found and still do that my greatest strengths have come from my biggest challenges.

When you decide to change your life, it is a tough decision and tough times are ahead but with commitment, motivation, resilience and courage you endure any storm. I know and my ABC are my friend on my shoulder to help me through life in the good and stormy times. I also know from feedback that my ABC help many people.

All I can say now is GO FOR IT. Be in it for the long-haul. You deserve the best. You are amazing. You are strong. You can do it.

I developed my ABC to be your friend on the shoulder. Remember it’s not weak to need support and I provide support and mentoring to many. You can find out more on my website.

Virtual hugs to all.

Patricia x

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