Learn to respect and value yourself

This blog is an excellent follow-up to one of my live YouTube videos titled ‘Don’t beat yourself up’. You might even think or have been conditioned in the past to think that you are being narcissistic if you show yourself respect but nothing is further from the truth. In fact, when you respect and value yourself you are more worthy of receiving love, and in turn, you can more easily give love to others.

You might not realise that you are living or working with narcissists and if so, don’t know that it impacts on your emotional, mental, psychological, and overall health. If you want to know more then listen to my podcast ‘Living with a narcissist’

Being surrounded by negative people and situations also has a detrimental effect on your emotional, mental, psychological, and overall health and it is more important than ever to respect yourself. So here are a few tips on how to do this.

1. Start everyday with my ABC, particularly the ‘A’. A stands for affirmation. Here are a few appropriate affirmations:

‘I respect myself’

‘I value myself’

‘I am worthy’

• Exercise regularly – this means both your body and more importantly your mind. It can be gentle exercises, one which is great for your health is taking a walk in nature. The mental exercises are vital because we tend to forget the power of the mind and it’s the mental exercises that improve your overall wellbeing.
• Be self-aware – this is about knowing yourself. For this you need to be honest about who you are and what you are not. Only when you know yourself can you possibly know other people. Learning to become self-aware is a challenging journey. We all think we know ourselves but often we don’t. You need to challenge your belief system; identify how you have been conditioned in the past but help is at hand with my Self-Awareness book part of my Wellbeing Series of books.

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As this is a challenging process I recommend that you have an achievement board to hand – somewhere prominent where you can look at it often to remind you of how much you have achieved no matter how small. Remember one small step is the start of a 1000-mile journey.

• Don’t be afraid to try something new – I talked about this in my daily videos during lockdown and you can go to my YouTube channel to listen to these videos to inspire and motivate you. Successful people are not afraid to try new things.

• Just be your wonderful self – don’t try to be like others or compare yourself to others – use an affirmation to say ‘I am wonderful me’. Don’t let other people ‘dull your shine’ by that I mean don’t listen to negativity from others. There will always be someone who says that you can’t or shouldn’t and some of these people will even be family or close friends. There are various reasons, one of which is that they are jealous. Ignore these negative statements and figure out for yourself what you want to do.
• Learn to say NO to things you don’t want to do. Again I talked about this is my YouTube live videos and in previous blogs. If you are a kind, caring person you might or will find this difficult. I know I did and still do. There is a tendency to always explain why you are saying NO. However, try to get used to saying NO without any excuses or reasons.

• Be with someone who respects you. This may sound obvious but many people are stuck in relationships where they compromise a part of themselves. They give up on their dreams, their hopes for those of their partner. A relationship should be a balanced one and if you find that you are sacrificing too much for someone else you really should take action. That action might be (or should be) to break up especially if your partner is someone who doesn’t want to or isn’t capable of respecting you.

Don’t focus on your flaws because if you do then you’re letting others focus on them too. To stop thinking about your flaws, write down three things that you love about yourself and put them where you can see them. Sticky notes are good for this and you can stick them to your computer or mirror, or fridge – somewhere prominent to remind you how wonderful you are.

I recommend that you make myABC your good habit and when you do, you can change yourself. You start respecting yourself; valuing yourself and loving yourself.

Here’s to learning to respect and value YOU.

And of course my two trademark tips – SMILE AND LAUGH, they cost you nothing.

Virtual hugs to you all

Patricia x