Knowing yourself is the beginning of wisdom.

Do you like your own company? Do you only have a small circle of friends? Do you worry that you don’t have lots of friends?

When you like being alone or have only a small circle of friends people might perceive you as a loner and therefore lonely and depressed. People can and do confuse being lonely with being ‘alone’. People who like their own company never actually feel lonely (I am not talking here about people with mental health issues, depression and anxiety – that is for another blog).

If you like your own company then being alone is exactly what makes you feel fulfilled. You feel more in touch with yourself and do your best thinking, making you more self-aware of things.

The challenge is for others as they don’t often get to become friends with a loner or get to know the ‘real’ them. This can be for a variety of reasons such as it might be because loners are choosy with whom they become close but there are other reasons – I call them traits – that make a person like their own company. So if you are one of them, don’t worry you are wonderful people:

You are self-aware: my first ‘attribute’ in my book ‘7 Attributes for Inner Success and Happiness’. While many people are frightened by their emotions you choose to focus on them and be aware of them. Becoming aware of one’s self is very difficult and needs to be worked at. As you know yourself better than anyone else you have the ability to understand others around you. Of course there may be and will be times of anxiety even depression but with this trait you have the resilience (my second ‘attribute’ in my book) to get through them and learn lessons from them.

You value time: – for you time is an important asset for success in life and you are aware of that. Where possible you are never late, you don’t waste anyone’s time or let anyone waste your time. You can o not tolerate anyone you plays with your emotions.

You know no-one is perfect: you know we all have flaws but you know your flaws. You are honest with yourself and always try to improve yourself. You just go with the flow. You do what feels right for yourself and others.

You are empathetic: you are able to feel and sympathise with others on the same level that they are. Being able to feel everyone’s sorrow can be a curse but you know how to handle it. Being empathetic means you find the bright side of negative situations.

You have healthy, strong boundaries:  you realise that you are never alone even if you were the last person on earth. You also respect others’ boundaries and expect the same respect in return.

You are loyal: when you do find someone you want to become close friends with you become the most loyal person they will ever have. You know your worth and if they find you to be worthy of being in their life they will give you everything whenever you need it whether that be relationships, family, friends, work and life.

You keep an open mind: just because you enjoy your own company does not mean you are rigid and close-minded. In fact it is the opposite you are very open-minded and are constantly up for new adventures and activities. However even though you enjoy new, exciting things you will make sure you have your ‘alone’ time to collect your thoughts.

You are level-headed: when you are faced with adversity and challenges you do not panic or run, you are –strong-willed and this is because your self-reflection time prepares you for such situations. You may feel stressed in some situations but rather than waste time with distractions you will spend some time alone to recharge your batteries.

That’s why others would like to be like you!

11th April 2018

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