Develop inner warmth

Just looking at the picture (courtesy of my fab daughter Gail) of the little fox getting warmth from the light made me feel warm inside.

When it’s freezing outside remember to wrap up warm but where and when you can remember to have fun, fun in the snow – socially distancing at these times of course – but enjoy yourself. Bring out your inner child. Just watch children enjoy the snow,  sledging, snowboarding snowball fights and just general fun.

Develop your inner warmth by being grateful. Make a gratitude list. You might want to get my Changing Seasons of Life: Your Creative Journal from my shop. I have left blank pages for writing your gratitude list, your health and wish lists and using your creativity which builds resilience.

When we are children we have a need to be understood and taken care of. Even as adults and try to be independent we still have this need. You can help fulfil this need by connecting with those who has inner warmth. When people have inner warmth you feel comfortable being around them. You see them as approachable, caring and empathetic. People with inner warmth draw people to them like a magnet. Of course they have to be careful to look after themselves too and not get over-extended by taking care of others.

Take a moment to think of people who have power. Are some cold and arrogant? Or are some warm and you feel drawn to them? Those with warmth draw people to them. It is difficult nearly impossible to fake warmth, people recognise quite quickly when you are faking warmth. When you have genuine inner warmth you enjoy meeting people from all walks of like no matter who they are or where they come from. You see every interaction that you have with others as worthwhile and never see it as a waste of time.

People who show inner warmth are curious. They are content with their life and have empathy for others. To develop inner warmth you must have a genuinely good heart. So how can you develop inner warmth?

Be grateful every day. Have a gratitude list. When you do this you will be more positive and optimistic.

Be empathetic and compassionate. This can be difficult to develop as often, almost every day in these challenging times, you will be met by and see cynical comments and opinions from others. Remember to never judge and put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Everyone has something in life that is hard, challenging and traumatic for them no matter how small it might be to you.

Of course even if you have a good heart and inner warmth you need to be able to show it outwardly, communicate it to others. When you act warmly to others you will feel warm inside and it has the ripple effect on making all those around you feel warm.

Give compliments – but they must be sincere. This improves relationships with others. There is nothing better than lifting the spirits of someone else by paying them a sincere compliment. And of course if they compliment you, remember you  don’t need to make any excuses you just need to say ‘thank you’.

Of course it’s not just speaking warmly – body posture is important too. You might think that having a stiff, erect posture shows that you are confident. However when you display that kind of posture you can come across as cold, aloof and arrogant. So if you want to come across as someone warm and approachable then show a relaxed body posture.

Remember your eyes – these are the window of your soul. So if you want people to find you approachable, caring and empathetic you need to show your kind eyes. So how do you do this? It can be done by relaxing your face and smiling with your mouth when you are talking. When you do this, your whole face will light up including your eyes.

Handshakes: not just now due to social distancing. Hopefully we will be able to do this in the not too distant future. Have a strong, good grip when shaking someone’s hand. Often women seem to think (some men) that they must give a loose handshake – I call it the wet handshake. This doesn’t instil confidence or warmth when someone does this to me, whether man or woman. So when we are able to shake hands again remember – have a good, strong grip.

Finally two quick tips that I often talk about in my live Facebook videos (find all of them here). These are SMILE – it costs you nothing and find a funny moment in every day – LAUGHTER is the best medicine.  Do this even if you are not talking face-to-face. People listening on the other end of a telephone call or an audio conference can immediately recognise the warmth in the sound and tone of your voice when you smile.

Virtual hugs to all


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