Cynicism, like fear, holds you back so what should you do?

Oh dear, where do I start? I was very concerned even incensed by something that happened recently but as I tell everyone, don’t do anything immediately, mull things over and then act if you want or need. So I’ve calmed down but I still feel the need to share my thoughts on cynicism and fear!

Cynicism and fear both hold you back and why would you want to hold yourself back and stop yourself from experiencing the wonders of life and I mean both the challenges and the opportunities. Remember when you learn from challenges and turn them into opportunities, doors open which would remain closed if you are cynical.

So why this topic today? Well, the idea for this topic came about because I had a ‘meet the author’ event where I met many wonderful positive people from young to old but there was one, yes just one at the event (although there are many such people out there) that would not take a chance on ‘playing’ my exercises – these exercises help increase your self-awareness, know your strengths and weaknesses so that you can live according to your strengths and be as positive as you can be no matter what life throws at you.

Now you might think this is just my view but my view is backed up by research. Research on thousands of people over 15 years found that cynics worry about being taken advantage of, they can even earn less money. They are afraid and that fear holds them back.

Cynical people distrust others. They see others as deceitful, egotistical, and even evil!  Being cynical can have a detrimental effect on your psychological, physical, and mental health and also affect your relationship with others.

Going back for a moment to my event this cynical person shared that she taught children and this amazed, no concerned me, as who wants our children to be taught by someone who is cynical! We need children to be inspired, motivated by someone who is open-minded and ready to share their experience. Now I know this person (like all of us) was more than likely conditioned from a young age by others, whether these are parents, carers, authority figures, even her teachers. So what do you do? You learn to let go of past conditioning and labels from your past and become aware of your own beliefs rather than those of others. My books and MindCircles services are all about creating the life you want, follow your own dreams and with passion and purpose, you can be the best you can be.

Cynics tend to be neurotic, introverted, and have low self-esteem – quite concerning not just for you if you are a cynic but for others if you are working with others, especially children! Of course, there are times when you need to have your ‘trust’ radar on and not be over-trusting of everyone. This is something I needed to learn as I had a tendency (and still do) to over-trust and this had consequences. I do try to see the good in everyone and that’s not a bad thing but you do need to be cautious and if your gut is telling you something is ‘off’ then listen to it.

Cynical people are not able or willing to rely on others as they suspect that others have a motive. Cynics are less likely to collaborate with others and avoid asking for help.

Research has found that cynics tend to earn less! So why would you want to be a cynic? Cynics are afraid to open their minds to life’s possibilities.

So what can you do to stop being a cynic? Here are some science-based tips.

  • Have an inspiration board and use my ‘C’ and journaling – I have often talk in my live videos about having an inspiration board and I do hope you have followed this advice as there is nothing better than this to create your best possible future. What you should do is use your creative imagination to imagine your life going as well as it should and then
  • Journaling – write everything down in your journal. It is a proven technique for improving your psychological, emotional, mental and overall health.
  • Be grateful and thankful for what you have
  • Use my ‘C’ to imagine your relationships with others to be as positive as they can be
  • Turn challenges into opportunities and try to see the silver lining behind every cloud or imagine the rainbow after the storm. I can hear some of you say that’s easier said than done but I talk from experience having lost my eldest son to suicide. I think of him every day, every second of every day but rather than drown in my grief I think of the wonderful memories and live as positively as possible to honour his life as I know he is in my heart and soul forever.
  • Think of something awesome that has happened to you – when you feel down take a moment to do my ABC and think of something wonderful that has happened to you – your spirits will be raised
  • Forgive and let go – this refers to letting go of grudges by forgiving. To forgive is not to forget but holding on to something or someone that has hurt you no matter how badly is detrimental to your overall health and holds you back. You might want to listen to my podcast on living with a narcissist or other relevant topics.
  • Give people the benefit of the doubt if they make one mistake – just think – you would want people to give you a second chance!
  • Change your mindset – never forget the power of the mind. Ditch the I can’t and turn it into I can. When you change your mindset you can turn negatives into positives. You must have intention to change your mindset but more than that – you need to:
  • Take a chance – it is not enough to have intention. You must have courage and guts to go for it. So if you want to move forward in life and get where you want to be – take a chance. Use my ABC particularly my ‘C’ your creative imagination to visualise where you want to be.
  • Be willing to work hard towards your goals and your vision.
  • Take action –life is for the brave and the bravest thing you can do is take that first small step and remember

A journey of a thousand miles starts with one small step

  • Don’t let life pass you by – say no to your fears – have passion and purpose and you will find the magic in everything around you – why not listen to my podcast on how to find your passion
  • Move out of your comfort zone because if you stay in your comfort zone you won’t move forward in life and get where you want to be
  • Don’t lose heart or beat yourself up if you fail, your affirmation should be – try, try, try again. Dare yourself to keep going, do better, jump over the challenges – see them as opportunities instead of obstacles.
  • Finally, if you don’t try and don’t take a chance then you will never know what you missed. Take that chance or you don’t stand a chance!

And in the ‘adapted’ words of Marcus Aurelius

‘It is not death you should fear but you should fear never beginning to live

Smile and laugh, they cost you nothing.

Virtual hugs to all


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